It really is. Okay to be yourself, I mean.
As a blogger, I find myself subject to all kinds of advice about how I ought to operate this blog.
“You ought to post five times every day.”
“You ought to add XYZ plug-in.”
“You ought to shorten/eliminate your blogroll.”
“You ought to sign up for ZYX affiliate program.”
And on, and on, and on. . .
Most of it is well-meaning, and I appreciate the concern.
In fact, I’ve done my share of dishing out advice here on this blog, and elsewhere on the Internet – all with the best of intentions, of course.
In fact, if I tried to incorporate every single piece of advice that I’ve been given or that I’ve ever read I doubt that I’d ever get anything else done.
Blogging is a great way to learn and gather information and to collaborate with others, but all that information can produce blogging stress if we take it too much to heart.
That’s why I’m declaring today that, despite what all the “advisors” might say, it’s okay to be yourself. It’s okay to make mistakes and to work at your own pace.
It’s okay to be yourself.
Whew!
Pressure off!
Contents (c) Copyright 2008, Laura Spencer. All rights reserved
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18 responses so far ↓
1 Tekaran Lady // Apr 17, 2008 at
I went the professional blog route for a while, but I make the mistake of trying to follow an overabundance of advice. I ended up burning myself out pretty quickly.
I’ve gotten as much response and more joy out of my current blog by just giving myself the freedom to be myself.
Simple advice, but some of the best. Thanks for posting it.
2 Robert Hruzek // Apr 17, 2008 at
Bravo, Laura! Speaking as one who discovered this truth the hard way, I applaud your resolution. A tip o’ the hat to ya!
3 Laura Spencer // Apr 17, 2008 at
Hi Robert!
Where would I be without supporters like you?
4 Laura // Apr 17, 2008 at
Hi Tekaran Lady!
I appreciate the support.
5 --Deb // Apr 17, 2008 at
Amen! My feeling about advice? I appreciate it when I ask for it, but reserve the right to ignore if it I don’t like it. Unsolicited advice? Well, it’s like the slush pile at a publisher’s office–I MIGHT get around to giving it some consideration at some point, but . . . maybe not!
6 Maria Palma // Apr 17, 2008 at
That’s the best advice I’ve read all year 😉 It’s much too easy to follow the herd when it comes to blogging. Trying to please everybody else is the quickest way to blogging death 😉
7 Writers Cafe - Friendly Accountability - Want To Talk To Other Writers By Phone? // Apr 17, 2008 at
[…] all suffered from the big internet overwhelm of shoulds. There’s the feeling that “I’ll be the perfect writer or blogger if I just do […]
8 Mihaela Lica // Apr 17, 2008 at
You ought to… oh… I forgot why I was here. 😉
Lovely entry, Laura! This happened to all of us. Somehow I feel better now, seeing that your actually took a stand against the advice no one asked for.
9 Lillie Ammann // Apr 18, 2008 at
Thanks for this excellent reminder, Laura. We don’t have to listen to all the well-meaning (and some not-so-well-being advice). Like Frank Sinatra sang, “I did it my way!”
10 Laura Spencer // Apr 18, 2008 at
Hi All!
Thanks for reading my rant. It sure felt good to write it.
–Deb, your approach sounds very balanced and healthy.
–Lillie, I’ve never been a big fan Frank’s “My Way” anthem, but I sure understand the sentiment.
I’ve been thinking about this, and I guess what irks me the most is the supposition of the “advisors” is that I’m clueless.
I mean, I write this blog. I poured into this theme (flawed though it may be). Do they really think I don’t know about its problems?
It’s kind of like going to your favorite Mexican restaurant, spilling salsa on your blouse, and then having ten people tell you that there’s a big stain on your blouse as you walk out the door.
“Yes, I know there’s a stain on my blouse. I’m just trying to get home so that I can change it.”
Well, enough of ranting. Happy Friday!!
11 Matt Keegan // Apr 18, 2008 at
A very nice rant. Just blog ‘cuz you wanna blog not because you have to follow carefully defined steps, methods, or other hocus-pocus.
There are too many people who are afraid to blog freely — you probably already know that I’m not one of those!
12 Mihaela Lica // Apr 19, 2008 at
Laura, do you have another blog I am not familiar with?
13 Vivienne Quek // Apr 20, 2008 at
Others’ opinions, well-meaning or otherwise, need not be your actuality. You are in control and command of your life and therefore you have 100% rights to decide who you are and who you want to be. It will be too sad if you lose yourself to please others. Change only when you want to, not because you have to.
I’m glad to read this rant. We like you as you are, Laura.
14 Lori // Apr 21, 2008 at
Laura, I couldn’t agree more. I think the only advice on this blog you should follow is this – “I think you should do what you want.”
:))
15 Laura Spencer // Apr 21, 2008 at
Hi Matt, Mig, Vivienne, and Lori!
First of all, let me apologize for the delay in responding to your comments. I went away for a day and came back sick.
Matt – it is pretty much a rant. Still, I think a lot of effort and energy goes into critiquing things that are relatively no importance.
Mig – I’m not sure. I have this blog that I own and another. I have three blogs where I blog for pay.
Vivienne – Thanks again for the support! Of course, I will try to improve whenever I can -but at my pace.
Lori – That’s it in a nutshell!
16 Kelly@SHE-POWER // Apr 26, 2008 at
I am a new blogger, but a long time writer and copywriter and this has been part of my problem with my website. As a marketer and copywriter you are taught suss out the market, know what the customer wants and deliver. Except that with my blog I just want to be myself. I am an aspiring novelist and a big part of why I started my blog, SHE-POWER was to express my thoughts and break away from my commercial mind, and build an audience for my fiction. Now, you’d think knowing this would mean I would not pay attention to what others say I SHOULD be doing with my blog. But it doesn’t seem to work that way. I CONSTANTLY wonder if I should override my instincts and follow geenrally accepted blogging advice: post daily, have a clear niche, work out what readers want etc…
It’s all so exhausting I’m over it. I think this is the clearest way bloggers get burnt out and quit. I think if we should worked out what we want to give to the world, so to speak, we’d find our own path and be much happier and successful for it.
Thanks for the reminder. I have been a subscriber for awhile, by the way, but tend to lurk. Sorry about that.
Kelly
17 Dennis Royman // Apr 26, 2008 at
What you have said about being yourself when writing is a often missed rule by many writers. And taking our time is the greatest way to writing what no one else can say the way we have said it.
18 Matt Royce // Apr 14, 2009 at
People are always telling me to change certain aspects of my lifestyle, and how I “role” (as it were). I’m a web designer/developer: so I obviously get criticized for layout designs, how I’ve implemented what piece of code, etc; I’m a Guitarist: so if I play this pattern of chords my way, I’m told to play it their way; and I’m also a drummer: I can’t believe people tell me how to drum! There are so many legendary drummers out there – Gene Krupa, for example. I take a massive influence from him, but because I like modern music as well, My Chemical Romance’s drummer, Bob Bryar… and so many others. You can’t tell a drummer how to drum – its just un-natural. Each drummer has their own style, and I love my style.
Also, quick note that bugs me (I’m sorry it had to be this post!), you don’t have to copyright all of your posts by putting “Contents (c) Copyright 2008, Laura Spencer. All rights reserved” at the end of the post. Merely add it to the site’s footer: “Copyright (©) WritingThoughts and Laura Spencer 2009. All Rights Reserved.” Just a friendly suggestion that would save you some hassle. (: