Back when I wrote Words, Wrongly Used I thought that I had, in a nutshell, listed the ways that writing should not ever be used.
Well, let me be the first to say that nothing is ever as simple as it seems and that I was wrong.
When I listed item number 2 (words that are used to hurt others) I was thinking of intentional cruelty. Words can be used to bully and that’s definitely something a good writer should never do. I’ve seen the effects of deliberate bullying and name-calling firsthand.
I never dreamed that my list item number 2 could be taken to mean that a writer should avoid telling the truth because it might hurt someone’s feelings. Writers, good writers, that is, should tell the truth. Truth and clarity are often what distinguishes a great novelist, journalist, or other type of author from a mediocre one.
Sadly, sometimes the truth does hurt –Â but that does not make telling it less important. I can illustrate my point with a less serious (and hopefully somewhat humorous) experience from my own life.
A few years ago my husband and I were attending a live theater production at an outdoor theater. I went to use the ladies’ restroom, which was less than ideally clean. In fact, there was tissue and other trash all over the floor. On my way back from the restroom I noticed several people staring at me and whispering, but no one said anything to me. However, as I walked up to my husband, the first thing that he said was “honey, did you know that you’ve got a streamer of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe?”
That was the truth, and I needed to hear it. No doubt the staring people had also seen the toilet paper trailing behind me as I walked back to my seat, but were afraid to mention it to me for fear that they might hurt my feelings.
I still think that being intentionally cruel with words without reason is wrong. However, sometimes writers do need to tell the truth — even when it’s uncomfortable or awkward to do so.
Contents (c) Copyright 2007, Laura Spencer. All rights reserved.
4 responses so far ↓
1 Joanna Young // Sep 14, 2007 at
Hi Laura
Thanks for a good story! But I’m not entirely sure I agree with your conclusion – that writers shouldn’t avoid telling the truth because it might hurt someone’s feelings.
I think we have to be aware of and take responsibility for our words – the impact of saying them, and maybe the impact of not saying them.
Sometimes the importance of speaking up, telling the truth is overwhelming given the ‘bigger picture’ that we’re contributing towards.
But sometimes it’s kinder to leave things unsaid, isn’t it?
Or am I just being cowardly?
Joanna
2 Laura // Sep 14, 2007 at
Hi Joanna!
I think it depends on the writer’s discretion. I needed to know that there was tissue hanging from my shoe so that I could fix it. (Even though that’s not really very important in the scheme of things.)
However, if I had a physical deformity that I couldn’t fix, then telling me about it (I probably already know about it anyway) wouldn’t help me at all.
Then again, if you knew that my car had defective brakes and that driving it might be dangerous, I sure hope that you would tell me.
(The need for discretion is one reason why machines can’t do our job.)
3 Vivienne Quek // Sep 17, 2007 at
I was reminded of what Jim Colins said in his book, “Good to Great”. Tell the truth and all the brutal facts with lots of compassions. However, there are times, we felt that it’s better not to tell the truth, tell half truth or made a white lie. If we made that decision, we have to face the consequence when the truth is out. Fox Moulder’s famous words are “The Truth are out there.”
4 Laura // Sep 17, 2007 at
Wow Vivienne!
What an excellent analysis of the situation.