I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. I’ve had some pretty hard gigs in my life. Some of these hard gigs have included:
- My first job where they led me to a desk buried with paper (undone work) and told me it was sink or swim.
- A technical writing gig where the massive product documentation was so far behind that I was greeted with, “thank goodness you’re here, I was afraid I would be stuck with this.”
- A company (well several of these, really) that pretty much expected me to spend my entire life at work.
I’ve even had some tough emotional personal gigs:
- Early in our marriage my husband was laid off and was unemployed/underemployed for over a year.
- I’ve had sick relatives and sick friends.
- As some of you know, most recently, I’ve overseen the care of my father during his struggle with Alzheimer’s disease.
Those gigs were tough. This motherhood gig, however, has got to be the toughest gig I’ve ever had. Just when I think I’ve got it down, everything changes. Just when you learn to properly put a diaper on so it doesn’t leak, it’s time for potty training. Just when you’ve finally taught them addition and subtraction it’s time for Algebra. Motherhood’s a hard gig because the rules keep changing.
I can remember when sidewalk chalk and soap bubbles would entertain my kids for over an hour. If I were to give them sidewalk chalk and soap bubbles now I’d get those rolling teen eyes. (I know this because I mentioned how much she used to like drawing with sidewalk chalk and blowing soap bubbles to one of mine and got the “oh Mom” response.) To tell you the truth, I miss the sidewalk chalk and soap bubble days.
All this struck me yesterday as I sat across from my newly-teen child at lunch and stared into her face, which is growing more grownup and more adult-like with each passing day. “How on earth am I going to convey to her what she needs to know in the time that we have left?” I wondered as panic struck me.Â
We mothers don’t usually talk about it how challenging motherhood is. We usually just do it. Today, however, is my day to let it out. I’m telling you right now. Motherhood is one tough gig!
Contents (c) Copyright 2007, Laura Spencer. All rights reserved.
6 responses so far ↓
1 Helen Ginger // Jun 13, 2007 at
I totally agree about the rules of motherhood constantly changing. And it doesn’t change when they grow up and move away. I have one who is now on her own and off in another state. When she calls with a problem, no amount of sidewalk chalk will help. But there is one rule of motherhood that’s been true since they were small. Sometimes they don’t want an answer from you or a solution to their problem, they just want you.
2 Laura // Jun 13, 2007 at
Thanks Helen Ginger! I think that’s exactly what I needed to hear.
3 Lisa // Jun 13, 2007 at
Oh Laura,
I was just saying this earlier this week! Like when your children appear to be healthy and all the sudden you end up taking one to the hospital at 4:00 in the morning – as we did with our little Chloe two days ago. She woke up unable to breath. Fortunately, it was only croup and with a breathing treatment and a little medicine, she’s just fine now, but it’s pretty scary when you watch your child struggle for air!
Life is ever changing, and so are the rules, but it’s how we adapt to those changes that determines the outcome. I have no doubt that you are a great adapter and an outstanding mother. Thank you so much for sharing such an intimate part of your life with us, Laura!
Take care!
Lisa
4 Debbie // Jun 14, 2007 at
I think the soap bubbles and sidewalk chalk age is so adorable because kids adore us at that age. When they become teens, not so much. You’re right; it’s a constant change.
5 Laura // Jun 15, 2007 at
Hi Lisa–I’m sorry Chloe was sick. I hope she’s better now. It can be scary when the little ones are sick.
Hi Debbie–The teen years have their moments too. It just seems like it was a little bit easier when I could entertain them with soap bubbles and sidewalk chalk.
6 merry // Jun 17, 2007 at
I think each step brings it’s own blessings… We’re still in the sidewalk chalk age – (My daughter is 9, my boys just turned 7 and 5) I often say, what other job pays with hugs, kisses, and ‘I love you’s’ AND lets you blow bubbles and play with play-doh without people looking at you funny? I suppose, as they get older, I’ll look back whimsically at this age, but from here I know that it’s also a lot of sleepless nights and constant reminders that control is an illusion. You teach them to be the best people you can, and then you have to trust them to become what they are. We parents like to take the credit for their successes, and certainly, the task of guiding them lies in the big lessons and everyday moments (and they never fail to learn more from watching your actions than they do from your instruction)
I hope, as they grow, I have enough sense to see the blessings in each step. It always makes me smile to read a post by another parent who’s a little further down the journey than I am, who so obviously has made the most of her blessings. Thanks for the post…