This is a bit off-topic, but it is WAHM Wednesday AND Mother’s Day is coming. I have been thinking a lot about Mother’s Day gifts lately, not for my own mother because she passed away in 2004. I am not thinking about Mother’s Day gifts for myself either.
When I say that I am thinking about Mother’s Day gifts I don’t mean that I am thinking about flowers, chocolates, or candy. Although, it is true that most mothers do enjoy flowers, chocolates, and candy.
What I’ve been reflecting on has more to do with the relationship between mothers and children. It has a lot to do with the relationship between my mother and me.
First of all, now that I am a mother, I have to say that motherhood has not always been what I imagined that it would be. Yeah, the picture perfect moments do come and I cherish each one. But overall motherhood is a lot harder than I ever imagined that it would be.
What makes motherhood so hard? It’s not really being on duty 24/7, although that IS hard. It’s not really being on-duty when you’re feeling sick, although that IS hard too. It’s not even getting up in the middle of the night to feed, change, or comfort your child–although that is hard.
What do I find to be the hardest thing about motherhood? It’s the constant concern that you have for your child. It’s the nagging questions that keep you awake in the middle of the night. It’s the nameless fear that your child will make a wrong choice. And yes, it’s the fear for the safety of your child.
I know that my mother had these types of fears. I can remember how, each time our part of the country experienced severe weather, she would call to check on me. If my mother were still alive I would have received that call last night because my area was under a tornado watch.
So, what is the greatest gift a child can give to a mother? I believe that it is the gift of peace of mind. It is a peace of mind that the mother can only have when she realizes that her child is now mature and responsible enough to make the right choices and decisions on their own.
I believe that I did give that gift to my mother before she died. The reason that I think I gave it to her is because she called me in to help with my Dad’s Alzheimer’s care. I don’t think she would have done that if she had thought that I wasn’t responsible enough or mature enough to handle it.
What can you do now to give this gift to your own mother this Mother’s Day? I don’t believe that you need to wait until your parents are elderly or one of them is ill. You can begin building this gift right now. No matter how old you are or how old your mother is, start building trust. Make right choices, even when it’s difficult. Choose the choices that you know would make your mother proud.
Start giving your mother the gift of peace of mind.
Contents (c) Copyright 2007, Laura Spencer. All rights reserved.
5 responses so far ↓
1 Crazy Mom // May 9, 2007 at
How beautifully said! I totally agree. My oldest just turned 7, and I try to give her independence as much as possible – giving her the opportunity to make a decision and realize the consequences (good or bad) is my best gift to her. However, it hurts badly to think about the fact that she will ultimately be in control of her life and I have to let her go. That’s the hardest part of being a parent, and I think that goes along with what you said. I feel so good about myself when my mom tells me that she is very proud of her kids and where they ended up. I think it’s because she’s a good mom though, and I wish I could give her so much more than I physically can.
2 Mihaela Lica // May 9, 2007 at
It’s not mother’s day in Romania. It was on the 8th of March. But I am sure any day is the best day to give our mothers that special gift that will make them proud. My mother is a teacher. Actually she is one of the best teachers I know. I had complete freedom as a child. I’ve made my choices and my mistakes, but the best of all is that my mother had alaways a reason to be proud. She has never failed me and I try to live up to her expectations.
3 Laura // May 9, 2007 at
Thanks to both of your for stopping by. Crazy Mom, it’s good to see you back in the blogosphere.
(I didn’t realize that Mother’s Day was different in Romania.) Mihaela, it sounds like you had an awesome childhood.
4 Mihaela Lica // May 10, 2007 at
Let’s just say it was free. I am a divorce child. There’s nothing awesome about that. It took a long time for my parents to make peace. But time heals… I guess some things will alaways hurt and yet…
But despite their problems they were and are great parents: always there when I need them, always there to share my joy. I’m grateful.
5 Laura // May 11, 2007 at
Mihaela, I think that too often we expect our parents to be perfect and we forget that they are human beings with human frailties. I became very aware of the frailty of human beings as I assisted and cared for my parents before they passed away.
It sounds like, despite their own personal problems, your parents did what they could to be there for you. You’re obviously a strong person who learns and grows from your experiences.